I bloody well did it – I surfed on Waikiki Beach this morning!!

Did I stand on that board? Hell no – have you seen the length of those things? Did I kneel on the board? Don’t be ridiculous! Did I lie on that board and push up with my arms every time a great big wave came at me – hell yes!

I really didn’t mind not standing or even kneeling – there was no way I was ready for that. I clearly got a wee bit too confident too quickly because when I fell off I took the biggest gulp of salt water and struggled to breathe for what seemed like ages, but was probably just a minute or two if that. I think I gave my guide Aqua (I know – perfect name) more of a fright. Let me tell you what went through my head in those moments.

FFS! What the hell was that?! I’m not doing this, this is ridiculous, I’m going back to shore, I tried it. I thought she said it was shallow – my feet aren’t anywhere near the ground. Argh! More salt water, jesus, it’s like I’ve eaten four large fries from McDonalds. Why is he insisting I try and get back on, I’m not getting, on I want to get off. people do this for fun? Are they mad?! Oooh – Sea Turtle!

So that huge Sea Turtle took my mind off the crashing waves, the salt water and I persevered and got back on the stupid bloody board and I stayed on it for the rest of the lesson. I talked to myself a lot “stay on the bloody board”, “no, I am not letting go” “where the F did that wave come from”, “stop wobbling”. At one point I wondered where everyone else had gone, but I was too busy at that point saying “I’m doing it, I’m bloody well at Waikiki beach, in thew sun, with sea turtles and I’m way outside my comfort zone, I’m living and loving life!” I then laughed. Mistake, cos that was another mouthful of salty McDonalds water!

Aqua then came to rescue me, I think he got in trouble for taking his eye off me as I’d gone quite far away from the group. Not out into the deep – are you crazy, just following the shoreline but almost round the bay – oops!

Photos and maybe video to follow but for now my message is don’t let anyone tell you you are too fat, too old or just not got enough balance to do something. Nobody can tell you that, especially not yourself. Tell that voice in your head to sit down and shut up – you have epic sh*t to do.